A Busy Family of Six!

Hard to believe we have been home for 5 days! In some respects it seems like we just reunited, and in other respects it seems like an eternity. Each day is very full and busy and we are learning more and more about each other. We are mostly doing really well.

Liz and Cael stayed home at the beginning of the week which was nice for everyone. We were able to spend some time bonding as a family. We were all able to join Cael for lunch one day and show Gabriel his new school. You can tell from the picture that he was a bit overwhelmed. (Most of his emotions present as anger/shutdown.....scared, sad, hungry, tired, sometimes even happy.) In the end I think it was good for him to get a small taste of school. He is insistent on starting next week but we will see how things go and certainly not rush things. He views school as a great privilege and we never want him to think we are depriving him of that privilege. On the flip side, we want him to feel very secure with us and all of the new things he is encountering daily so we will be flexible and trust God for the wisdom. I am very impressed with how much he already knows and have no doubt he will thrive in school.

Gabriel has been independent for so long and he likes to be in control. Adam and I have made some very intentional decisions about how we are parenting him and it looks very different from our other children. We have given him control over some things so that we can establish control in others. It seems to be working out pretty well for the most part. We have a long way to go but progress has been steady. Yesterday was the first day in the past 2 weeks that he did not cook his own meals. Even if I make him things EXACTLY like he made them, he will not eat them unless he made them. He will find something wrong with them. Yesterday he ate eggs and sausage made by dad and banku and pepe made by me. He is pretty resistant to all the new foods but it's only day 5. Slow and steady.....

On the note of control, he has requested 2 things: to play soccer and to go to school. As I signed him up for soccer at the local YMCA on Tuesday I felt very nervous. He is not exactly "easy" to handle and I had no idea how he would do on a team. Well....last night was his first practice and he was a ROCK STAR!!! Granny and I sat on the sidelines with Debo Grace and Cael and we had to pick our jaws up off the floor. The coach talked A LOT and was hard on the boys asking them to nod if they were listening. Sweet Gabe stood there with wide eyes nodding his little head up and down, over and over again. He played so well and really enjoyed himself. When he got in the car, he was very excited and happy. Then he said, "That coach talked a lot and I don't know what he was saying at all, I just nodded." LOL!!! It was awesome!!!  We really needed that victory with him yesterday and it felt so good to watch him enjoy himself and succeed. He has a game on Saturday and he is super excited.

Debo Grace is doing great. She is often attached (literally) to me or Liz. It is great! She likes to be held and cuddled. I would like to think that her attachment to us is unique and special but it is far more likely at his stage that we are just the available doting females in her proximity. If there was another lady available and willing to give her attention and love she would take it. That is very unhealthy for her development and security. She needs to learn that we are different from everybody else. She needs to learn how to form a healthy, long-term attachment. This is crucial. Because of this, please be sensitive about how you interact with her for awhile. It would be best if she was not held or cuddled by anyone other then are immediate family for awhile. I know she is so cute and it is a natural reflex to scoop her up but it is not in her best interest right now. Thank you so much for your sensitivity in this matter and for your prayers as we work to help both of our new children learn what it means to be a part of a family and to experience long-term, secure, unconditional love and attachment.

Both children love playing outside and they love our neighborhood and all the children. I think it feels natural to them after being at an orphanage with 23 children running around. They are doing great establishing new friends and learning new things. I am so grateful for our little street and all the sweet kids who are doing their best to make Gabriel and Debo Grace feel welcome.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for providing the most perfect example of parenting in your love for us. Thank you for showing us grace everyday and for providing a way for us to make things right when we mess up time and time again. Help us not just survive but really impact people around us for the better, especially our children right now. I pray that Your love overflows from our hearts and mouths. I pray for divine patience and wisdom and peace and joy.  Thank you for all the many blessings! We are overwhelmed with your goodness to us! Amen

To those of you who aren't on facebook, please enjoy this link to a slideshow of photos from our time in Ghana and our homecoming.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp55vQPbmFA

Debo Grace with our sweet neighbor, Noah

Neighborhood soccer

Brother bonding

First haircut in the States