A Busy Family of Six!

Hard to believe we have been home for 5 days! In some respects it seems like we just reunited, and in other respects it seems like an eternity. Each day is very full and busy and we are learning more and more about each other. We are mostly doing really well.

Liz and Cael stayed home at the beginning of the week which was nice for everyone. We were able to spend some time bonding as a family. We were all able to join Cael for lunch one day and show Gabriel his new school. You can tell from the picture that he was a bit overwhelmed. (Most of his emotions present as anger/shutdown.....scared, sad, hungry, tired, sometimes even happy.) In the end I think it was good for him to get a small taste of school. He is insistent on starting next week but we will see how things go and certainly not rush things. He views school as a great privilege and we never want him to think we are depriving him of that privilege. On the flip side, we want him to feel very secure with us and all of the new things he is encountering daily so we will be flexible and trust God for the wisdom. I am very impressed with how much he already knows and have no doubt he will thrive in school.

Gabriel has been independent for so long and he likes to be in control. Adam and I have made some very intentional decisions about how we are parenting him and it looks very different from our other children. We have given him control over some things so that we can establish control in others. It seems to be working out pretty well for the most part. We have a long way to go but progress has been steady. Yesterday was the first day in the past 2 weeks that he did not cook his own meals. Even if I make him things EXACTLY like he made them, he will not eat them unless he made them. He will find something wrong with them. Yesterday he ate eggs and sausage made by dad and banku and pepe made by me. He is pretty resistant to all the new foods but it's only day 5. Slow and steady.....

On the note of control, he has requested 2 things: to play soccer and to go to school. As I signed him up for soccer at the local YMCA on Tuesday I felt very nervous. He is not exactly "easy" to handle and I had no idea how he would do on a team. Well....last night was his first practice and he was a ROCK STAR!!! Granny and I sat on the sidelines with Debo Grace and Cael and we had to pick our jaws up off the floor. The coach talked A LOT and was hard on the boys asking them to nod if they were listening. Sweet Gabe stood there with wide eyes nodding his little head up and down, over and over again. He played so well and really enjoyed himself. When he got in the car, he was very excited and happy. Then he said, "That coach talked a lot and I don't know what he was saying at all, I just nodded." LOL!!! It was awesome!!!  We really needed that victory with him yesterday and it felt so good to watch him enjoy himself and succeed. He has a game on Saturday and he is super excited.

Debo Grace is doing great. She is often attached (literally) to me or Liz. It is great! She likes to be held and cuddled. I would like to think that her attachment to us is unique and special but it is far more likely at his stage that we are just the available doting females in her proximity. If there was another lady available and willing to give her attention and love she would take it. That is very unhealthy for her development and security. She needs to learn that we are different from everybody else. She needs to learn how to form a healthy, long-term attachment. This is crucial. Because of this, please be sensitive about how you interact with her for awhile. It would be best if she was not held or cuddled by anyone other then are immediate family for awhile. I know she is so cute and it is a natural reflex to scoop her up but it is not in her best interest right now. Thank you so much for your sensitivity in this matter and for your prayers as we work to help both of our new children learn what it means to be a part of a family and to experience long-term, secure, unconditional love and attachment.

Both children love playing outside and they love our neighborhood and all the children. I think it feels natural to them after being at an orphanage with 23 children running around. They are doing great establishing new friends and learning new things. I am so grateful for our little street and all the sweet kids who are doing their best to make Gabriel and Debo Grace feel welcome.

Heavenly Father, Thank you for providing the most perfect example of parenting in your love for us. Thank you for showing us grace everyday and for providing a way for us to make things right when we mess up time and time again. Help us not just survive but really impact people around us for the better, especially our children right now. I pray that Your love overflows from our hearts and mouths. I pray for divine patience and wisdom and peace and joy.  Thank you for all the many blessings! We are overwhelmed with your goodness to us! Amen

To those of you who aren't on facebook, please enjoy this link to a slideshow of photos from our time in Ghana and our homecoming.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vp55vQPbmFA

Debo Grace with our sweet neighbor, Noah

Neighborhood soccer

Brother bonding

First haircut in the States

Our First Day Home

Kristen Milligan was my very best friend. She passed away a little over a year ago at the age of 39 after battling liver cancer for 9 years. She was, and still is, a huge inspiration and encouragement to me. One of the greatest things I learned from her was the importance of being intentional in all aspects of your life but especially in regard to parenting. She rarely missed a moment to teach her children. 

Prior to this Ghana trip I feel like I was becoming lazy in my parenting. Liz and Cael are very independent and responsible kids and it was easy for me to do my thing and let them do theirs. Obviously I nurtured, corrected, encouraged and supported them but I was missing moments. I saw the moments pass and knew I missed them. I needed a kick in the butt!

These past 2 weeks have been my kick in the butt. I have had to put my parenting skills to the test and I have been required to be intentional with 24 hours each day. It has been good for me. It is hard work and it is physically and emotionally exhausting but it is my job. It is most definitely what I signed up for and God will equip me with the strength I need for each day. 

I remember a road trip that Kristen and I took with our 5 children when she was on a very toxic chemo that made her miserable. I can't even believe we went on this trip. One of her children needed a little correction and it would have been so easy and probably somewhat effective to verbally correct it with a few words and a look. I clearly remember the entire discussion, consequences, and training that occurred instead.  She wasn't trying to "fix" the child for the moment and make the behavior favorable, she was trying to impact a heart and impact a behavior for life. That was just one of many instances when Kristen exemplified intentional parenting and it changed my life. 

As I look at these four precious children that God has placed in my care I strive to shepherd their hearts. I want them to know Jesus and try to be like Him. I want them to show love to others not because it is easy or expected but because it is what they choose to do. I want them to make hard choices to always do what is right and to be leaders.  

Even though the two newest are 5 and 8, we are starting with lessons that Liz and Cael learned at age 1, 2, 3 and 4. It was not easy work then, and the same is true now. It requires a TON of patience and a lot of help. 

I am so grateful that Adam's mom is here helping with so much. If not for her the house might be falling apart...at the very least the sink would be full of dishes and none of us would have clean clothes. 

To all of the people that are providing and will be providing meals...thank you!!! What a great blessing to not think about that piece of survival! Thank you to Alicia Tankersley for setting all that up for us!

To all the people sending encouraging emails and texts...thank you so much!!!  We are massively blessed by you. God is listening to all your prayers and honoring them. He has been so good to us!!

Yesterday was our first full day as the Thompson Family of 6. It was a good day. We were happy to wake up together. Debo seemed a little off and we found out pretty quickly why when she threw up all over me. She was facing me in my lap so it was easiest to just let her heave into my chest and belly. Family bonding!!!! We both stripped in the middle of the kitchen and headed to the bathtub. Family bonding!!! I had to hold her right leg in the air to protect her sutures while washing the vomit from the both of us. Lots of great bonding!! (Sweet Granny cleaned up the pile of mess that I left behind....oh, how I love her!!!!) Adam took the two boys to a bike trail and they road their bikes 4 miles! They all came back exhausted but smiling big. Our neighbors gave us a gift card to the movie theater so we took the opportunity and went to see the Lego Movie as a family. It was a fun outing and the kids enjoyed the movie. Cael had baseball practice in the evening and Gabe and I tried to go watch but it was too cold outside for my Ghanaian boy so we went home early. He only had one episode of shutdown today which is amazing to me! We are only on Day One!!! God is good!

Debo's leg is healing well and she hasn't had any more issues with throwing up. She is bonding really well with Liz and Cael and even walked down the street to initiate playtime with some of the neighborhood girls. When they all came down the street holding hands my heart melted. So sweet!!!

Talking on the phone is almost impossible right now because everyone needs something at all times. This blog has taken me so many attempts but I value the importance of getting this all documented while trying to keep all you sweet people in the loop on how things are going in our home. We are so grateful for you and are overwhelmed by the outpouring of support.

Our Last Day in Ghana and Homecoming

We had talked about our final day in Ghana often. Gabriel had a plan. He wanted to go to G4G and give many of his clothes and toys to them and also say a final goodbye. He wanted to take a shower at 5:00pm and then leave for the airport at 6:00pm. We woke up on Saturday in Ghana with this plan.

During breakfast Gabriel decided he wanted to wash Uncle Dwayne's car. This is the man we were staying with and Gabriel felt a great gratitude to them. This was clearly his way of showing his thanks and it was very sweet. He washed the car with enthusiasm.

During the car wash, Debo was walking over to the plants to look at a butterfly when she accidentally stepped through the metal grating leading to a drainage pit. (See the car wash photo for the picture of the drainage grating.) Her foot went through the grating and she began screaming. The wound that she suffered was severe. (Please speed past the pictures below if you are not interested in seeing them.) She was in terrible pain and was very scared. I must admit it really scared me too. Our amazing new friends helped us get out the door and to the clinic quickly where they escorted us immediately back to receive care. They cleaned the wound and then sent us to the hospital to get stitches. Debo was quite a mess, as was I. Thankfully, Uncle Dwayne drove us and stayed with us and helped handle the payments and logistics so I could tend to Debo Grace 100%. She ended up needing sedation in the operating room and 6 stitches. It was not an easy day and we still needed to get on a plane at 10:10pm. 

(Some interesting side notes: It only cost me $60 for the hospital consult and $130 for the anesthesia, sutures and recovery.  In this operating room you remove your shoes before entering and go in barefoot....I guess that is cleaner? If you need sedation and sutures you can still fly on an overnight airplane that night.)

Gabriel was concerned about his sister during the injury. He acted tough and he referred to his terrible injury a few months back and how he didn't get any treatment at all. He wanted to downplay it and take some of the attention but ultimately he was worried about her. It was sweet. When I encouraged him to continue with our "plan" to go to G4G while Debo went to the hospital he was hesitant but, thankfully, he went. It was better for everyone that way. Debo asked for him shortly after we got home from the hospital. He came home not much longer and greeted me with the biggest hug ever. We missed each other this day and that was very good for both of us! 

He got in the shower at 5:00pm, we left for the airport at 6:00pm and we boarded a plane at 9:00pm that departed at 10:10pm. We had quite a headache at immigration but thankfully we had plenty of time to deal with it. Gabriel was especially excited about the adventure that was in front of us. He was very chatty and had a lot of nervous energy. Needless to say, he didn't sleep for the entire flight. Seriously. 12 hours. He was very well behaved and respectful to me and a HUGE help with all the bags. Debo slept well on me. Thankfully we landed in JFK on time and after a few stops through immigration and customs we were able to rush and make it just in time for our flight to Atlanta.

We were very excited to be greeted by Dad, Liz and Cael at the airport....our family is finally all together!!!!!!!!!!! So blessed! We are thankful that Granny was also there and the Everswicks were there to take pictures and video. We will share more pics later. 

This afternoon I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from our neighbors and friends. We are SO BLESSED!!!!!  My sweet Aunt Sue who just buried her husband sent US beautiful flowers and balloons! Our neighbors lined the street with american flag balloons and made signs with each family picture and names and ages so the kids could learn the other children on the street. Other sweet friends made food and treats and signs. Others came by with hugs. Someone brought a great lunch and someone else brought a great dinner. WE ARE SO THANKFUL AND SO BLESSED!!!!! Thank you to all of you!!!!!!!!!






The children were also so excited to reunite with their buddy, Robert who was adopted from the same place and came home to Georgia last month. All three kids were very happy to see each other and the rest of the us also share such a bond so it was sweet to connect with all of them over some banku and pepe (and other stuff. ;-). 

God has carried us through this adoption journey and he will surely carry us through the days ahead. We are exceedingly grateful for all of your prayers and support. We really cannot adequately express in words what it means to us.  It feels so good to be home!!!

I praise you, Lord for these children and this home. Thank you for bringing us home safely and for uniting our family. Please bond us together as a tight unit and most importantly draw us closer to you, individually and collectively. Deepen our love. Strengthen our faith. Increase our capacity for patience and understanding. Guard our hearts. We love you so much! Amen.

Our Final Friday in Ghana

I was told to come to the U.S. Embassy at 7:30am this morning to collect Gabriel's visa. Auntie Ebe came over to sit with the kids while I went but Gabriel insisted on going with me. He really wanted to get his own visa. We had to wait 2 hours but we finally got it and it looks great!

(Side note....don't ever take a picture with your cute kid and his new visa outside of the Embassy. The police will come to you and make you fill out papers, copy your passport, take photos of you, and delete the initial photo you took. Apparently, you are not allowed to take any photos around the Embassy at all. I knew that was the case inside but we were are the street waiting for our taxi!!!! Gabriel was freaked. I think he thought we were going to jail. he kept saying "Uh oh. Uh Oh.")

After we had the visa, we came back to the house and took our friends who we are staying with and Auntie Ebe to DC 10 Restaurant in Accra. This is a massive jumbo jet airplane that has been converted into a fully functioning restaurant and bar. It was awesome. You climb the steps and board the plane and then it has all the overhead bins, authentic airplane seats and even the bathroom is airplane caliber. The children were able to raise and lower the window covers and see a little bit of what an airplane will be like. I'm sure when we get on the real one tomorrow night they will be shocked at the lack of space and tables.  :-) We ate some good food and enjoyed our friends and the atmosphere. 

Then we walked around the mall for a little while to kill time until the Delta airline ticket office opened at 4:30pm. At that time we were to pay for Gabriel and Debo Grace's tickets. They were excited to see the airport and we talked a lot about what to expect tomorrow. I think it was a really good dry run. I didn't plan it that way but in hindsight I felt like it was perfect. 

We have spent this evening hanging out, relaxing, watching "Tangled", and packing. 

We all feel very excited to get home!!!!! 

Tomorrow we will go to the transitional home where the children have been living for 2 months and say a final goodbye and then we will head to the airport. Please pray for our sweet friend, Ebe, who has cared for us so well while we have been here. We will miss her greatly and I know her heart is feeling so conflicted with our departure. Our agency had to let her go last month so she doesn't have a job and we have been a distraction for 2 weeks but I worry about her when we leave. I trust God will continue to do mighty things in and through her. She is a forever friend to me!

Like I said yesterday anyone who wants to welcome us home and meet the kids can come to the house on Sunday around 11:00am. If we have any delays I will be communicating that via facebook. Please do not feel any pressure or obligation. We feel SO LOVED and supported. It is truly overwhelming. We would request that the "party" happens outside upon our arrival. After we enter our home we are really going to try and focus most on our immediate family with just a few exceptions. Our children are very excited to see their friend Robert who came home last month from their orphanage so hopefully he will come by on Sunday to greet them. 

I can't wait to hug all my kids at once. I can't wait to kiss Adam. I can't wait to take a long bath and I CAN"T WAIT TO SLEEP!