From peaches to oranges

In May our family sold our home, packed our stuff and moved from Georgia to Florida.

"Blessed in the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on His law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." Psalm 1:1-3

It is my prayer to bear good fruit. Peaches or Oranges. It doesn't really matter where I am bearing the fruit. I just want it to be good fruit.

Lately, I feel like I am trying really hard and the fruit that I bear looks really good on the outside but then you cut it open and it is not good at all. I mother 4 kids, two of whom I adopted from Ghana last year. I serve families with a terminally-ill parent and young children through Inheritance of Hope. I pack, unpack, decorate, organize, shuttle kids, plan events and most often keep it all running smoothly. The fruit looks good. But I have been cutting it open and finding rotting cores and dried-out pits.

I know the problem.

I am not the PRODUCER of good fruit, only the bearer. I cannot bear good fruit unless I am attached to the vine.

"Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit, apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:4-6

A perfect but somewhat harsh example is in the love I have for my youngest child. She is precious. She is beautiful and kind and helpful and loving. She is also so desperate for approval, affection, and attention. It is exhausting. Every day I wake up with a resolve to "do better". I commit myself to try and be more patient, loving, encouraging....." I fail EVERYDAY. Sometimes I fail within 5 minutes of waking up. I go to bed praying, "please God help me do a better job tomorrow. Help me love her better, be more patient, give her what she needs....."

Precious! (Photo creds to big sis, Liz)

This week God taught me something. He doesn't audibly speak to me or anything but He has spoken a truth to my heart. "You can do nothing apart from me. When it comes to loving this little girl, you will never be able to love her enough to "fix" her. Even your best love is not enough for her. You are only called to point her to Me. My mercies are new every morning. Stop praying for perfect love for her. Your love for her will never be perfect but mine already is. Abide in me. That means spend time with me, talk to me all day, fill your mind with my words. I will take care of the rest."

"If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers, such branches are thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given to you. This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourself to be my disciples." John 15:7-8

I know that this God is not a genie in a bottle. "Whatever you wish will be given to you" is a promise but it has the condition attached "IF YOU REMAIN IN ME AND MY WORDS REMAIN IN YOU." This is my most important job today. Yours too. Yes, the kids need to get to practice or camp. They need to learn to read. They need clean clothes and they need food on the table. Yes, some emails need to be returned and some bills need to be paid and some calls need to be made. But all of this is secondary to remaining in Christ and having His words remain in us.

Lord, I want to bear YOUR fruit. The good and best kind. I want to be used by you so you get all the glory not me. Please love that little girl (and the others) in your perfect way. Transform her heart and mind so she knows her true value in you. I will do my best to keep pointing her to you.

For now, I am going to find a juicy orange and share it with my sweet little seven year old who will soak up every second of my attention.