I feel a little like we have been watching a volcano for the past 3 months. It has been smoking and rumbling and the people in it's path have prepared as well as they could for the eruption. However, instead of evacuating and running for the hills...these adventurers have made a very intentional decision to ride the lava. We are viewing our time in the lava as a refiner's fire of sorts.
If you have been following this blog for any length of time you know that our third child has many hurts. Those hurts present themselves in anger, defiance, sadness, and overall grumpiness. We have listened, prayed, and trained and seen great results! However, we were still bracing ourselves for the impending eruption we knew would one day come.
Last Wednesday we were humbled to hold our son through a long and exhausting period of extreme grief and anger.
What began as a fight for control ended with a little boy who knew he had two parents who would protect him through anything.
What began as a tantrum of anger ended as a peaceful embrace of love.
What began as a fit of rage ended as a peace that passes understanding.
What began as a closed-off, lonely, hurting little boy ended as a more secure, more healed little boy. What began as a scared and independent fight ended as a family dependent on one another for safety and love.
On the floor of our kitchen on a Wednesday afternoon, a volcano erupted and this mom and dad and little boy stayed together through the hottest parts. The beautiful thing about God's refining fire is that it always removes impurities. It always leaves you better than when you started. It always makes you more like Jesus.
Gabriel yelled, cried, kicked and punched for one hour. Adam held him tightly while I rubbed his head and told him how much we loved him. I prayed the whole time that God would bring us to a better place when it was over. I prayed that God would heal his heart. The truth is, this was so far beyond us. Even if Adam and I were trained counselors or psychologists we could not help this sweet boy. Only His Maker could bind up these wounds. I am thankful that God allowed us to be two of the physical manifestations of His love to this boy. Adam told him we would stay there all night if we had to.
After the hour, we sat completely quiet for another 45 minutes. Gabriel had a hoarse voice and his eyes were swollen and puffy. When he finally stood up, Adam looked him in his face and reiterated how much we love him and how we will never leave him. That he didn't have to be in control anymore because we are taking care of him now and we are not going anywhere. He leaned in for a hug and kiss. I asked him if he wanted a bath (we were all covered in sweat and tears) and he nodded. He asked me to bathe him and even asked me to wash his hair twice. ;-) This mama
wanted needed so badly to nurture this boy and bathing him was the perfect opportunity!!!! I am so thankful!!! I put lotion all over his sweet dark skin and even put his pajamas on him. (It was only 6pm and he is 8-ish years old)
Since last Wednesday things have continued to improve. The eruption wasn't by any means a magic moment but it was a necessary step in our son's journey. He is still cantakerous most of the time but it is short-lived. He still argues most things but he often realizes his error and backs off with a giggle. He has been more affectionate with everyone in the family. He has smiled and laughed a lot more at home. There might be more euptions. There is definitely more refining for all of us. All I know is, God does not give up on any of us and His plan for us is the BEST. So.Thankful.For.That.Truth
I wonder what God has planned for this sweet, smart, strong, boy...I'm so thankful I get a front row seat! ;-)
